Mirror mirror on the wall

I have something to tell myself. I found myself a little chubby + fat. But I'm not too sure abt this. May be i was too frightened about the fact that me being fat + chubby. It is & it's true. I am now growing bigger & bigger day by day because I failed to control my eating habits. But Im not too shy to share this with u guys out there. Now u might want to check out on this:-

Me: Mirror mirror on the wall, tell me who's the ugly woman under 30 living in Pijadoscenceville?
Mirror: My lady, i'm afraid u havent pay me yet.
Me: I dont have to pay u idiot. I bought u several years ago & u will have to serve me for your entire life! Now keep that in your mind okay & let's get a move on...
Mirror: Oppss...forgive me my lady. I guess, it slipped my mind. Let me see...

After 15mins

Me: Did u get anything Mr Mirror? Just tell me her name. Y r u so slow???
Mirror: I'm working on it...& hey, i got it. Her first name is Lady!
Me: There are many ladies with first name "Lady" in this town. Could u be more specific pls?
Mirror: I'm afraid it's not lady gaga nor lady antebellum. It's U, uuuuuuuuuuuu my lady!
Me: Arrrggghhhh....

That's the story of me. I guess I have to find my way to get the 'S' or hour glass shape..huhuuue

I'm getting chubby :(